First of all, before I go into my story, I’d like to thank the team at UNVAELD for asking me to share my story on their platform to help more people grow.
There are many facets to mental health. But the one I would love to share more about is what it feels like to live your life without hope. Those of you who have or have had mental health challenges may well know this feeling of hopelessness, of not seeing the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. For over twenty years, I felt there was no alternative to living my life this way until, one day, that all changed.
Being diagnosed with an incurable mental health illness at a young age can lead you to live without hope. But, when you are repeatedly told that your condition is chronic, has no cure, and that it will only get worse the older you get, by the same people whose help you sought, you end up accepting someone else’s opinion of you.
With time, hope isn’t a word that enters your thoughts because the system is not designed to give you one. It is designed to provide you with a label (ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.) and treat you with pills that do more harm than good. I’m sure you can only too well imagine how devastating this can be for your mindset. And how easily it is to tumble and spiral into alcohol and drug addictions, both prescribed and non-prescribed, in an attempt to numb out your daily painful reality, just as many of you and I did and some of you are still doing.
In the early to mid-1990s, there was a stigma around talking about mental health, primarily if you work in a macho environment such as the Oil & Gas Industry, where suffering in silence is your means of protection from losing your job or being mocked and ridiculed. Daily living this way is exhausting as you spend energy hiding from your immediate world, colleagues and working environment.
When I was aged 17, one day I went to my work, just as I did every day, but on my return home that evening my whole life had changed, in one split second that day, something happened at work, where someone said something to me, and what they told me instantly filled me with dread and fear, and led to what I can only describe as a feeling of part of my brain or mind snapping, that was how it felt, like a physical snap within my mind.
And in that instant, my entire world changed from one I wanted to explore and was happy and content to be into one I tried to hide from as I perceived irrational threats and dangers. After eight months of thinking this way, where I developed a behaviour of having to count everything silently in my head seven times to keep these threats and dangers from harming me, at a point of sheer and utter mental and physical exhaustion, I reached out to my mum for help. I can still recall telling her I must see my doctor because I can’t go through this anymore.
After seeing my doctor, who referred me to a psychologist, within a couple of months, I was diagnosed with incurable, chronic and severe OCD, and I thought my life was over. But little did I know at that time, aged 17, what lay ahead for me in the next two decades where I lived a waking and sleeping nightmare until, by chance, I crossed paths with the most beautiful, awe-inspiring human being and a global educator I have ever had the joy to meet. Before I share my transformational journey, let me share my journey through mental health challenges.
I could tell you of the many dark times I faced, but that would fill many books, so I’ll share one, where one night when I had, had enough of my life. I placed a homemade noose around my neck, and then for the next few hours, as I contemplated taking my own life, I knew all I had to do was to fall entirely forward and that my body weight would be enough to apply the pressure required for my strangulation, asphyxiation and ultimately my death. Remarkably I also recall going to my work the next again day as if nothing had happened the previous night.
These are the places you can go to and the darkness that can engulf you when you live a life with no hope, no hope of getting better or of seeing an end to your suffering in sight, but today thankfully, I live a far different life. You may be wondering how I achieved this and how it led to being called if you like to be an ambassador for change and mental health within the UK Oil & Gas Industry.
Well, few things had to happen
1: Something had to change:
At approx. At age 37/ 38, I walked away from my NHS Mental Health Treatments after 20 years; although the NHS is a fantastic institution, I knew that after decades of these treatments where I hadn’t improved, I had to look for an alternative means of healing. My reason is that during my 20 years in the NHS, despite all the professionals I saw, my treatments never really changed, and then one day, I read this phrase by Albert Einstein ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, and when I applied it to myself at that time and what I had experienced within the NHS, I knew I had to make this change for myself, quite literally my life depended on it, to have not done so would mean me not being alive today
2: When the student is ready, the teacher appears, so he does.
By chance, after seeking help from a few alternative therapists, including one on London’s world-famous Harley Street, I came across the work and phenomenal teachings of Tony J. Selimi. After attending his talk at Body Mind Spirit Festival in London Olympia, I realised this not-so-well-known teacher to me was, in fact, a world-famous author, a leading transformational life coach and a business mentor specialising in human behaviour and maximising human potential.
His talk, “Being in Flow”, left me speechless. Immediately after his speech, many people queued to buy signed copies of his book A Path to Wisdom and book private consultations with him. I knew the investment would be huge, but something told me it would be worth it. So, I booked an initial clarity consultation with him. My initial consultation with Tony differed significantly from what I had experienced with the NHS and other therapists, where professionals sometimes try to listen and comfort you. It was highly intense and challenging.
Throughout my session, I thought, who was this guy to speak to me the way he was doing? But it was precisely what I needed then; his directness and powerful questioning techniques awakened me to how much of an idiot I have also been at times in my life. By the end of the consultation, I’d understand more about my mental health illnesses and addictions in those 2 to 3 hours than I had in the previous 20 years. So, I gave myself the most expensive gift I had ever bought and signed up for his yearly heal, revive, and thrive coaching program.
3: The night I came to the realisation that Tony J. Selimi had saved my life:
In April of 2016, Tony J. Selimi invited me to talk at the Waldorf Astoria in London, no less at the Book Launch of his multi-award-winning book and global best-seller #Loneliness, The Virus of the Modern Age. Since I started to work with him, he has helped me heal from epilepsy and over one hundred OCD conditions, as well we used many sessions to help me become better at communicating and speaking with more confidence. At a point during the night, after I had delivered my speech, it dawned on me entirely out of the blue that had I not chosen to start working with Tony in approx. June, July of 2015, that something terrible would have happened. I would no longer be alive, and that brought me to tears instantly, even though I was in a crowded room with hundreds of successful and famous people Tony has coached and mentored over the years.
4: Commit and invest to achieve the results your heart desires:
Healing your life of every pain you’ve faced isn’t easy; it takes time, commitment, a superb, qualified, and experienced coach, and a willingness to persevere as you face every adversary head-on. And yes, not only did I invest much money, but it was also very challenging as you are forced to recollect and recall two decades of silent torture and diffuse emotional charges associated with every event. Trust me, working with him is a privilege and worth all your investment. Through working with Tony, attending his Vital Planning Life Mastery retreat, and reading and re-reading his books, I achieved phenomenal results, outcomes, and breakthroughs. It led me to a place today where I live an everyday normal life and where people I meet and speak with now find it hard to believe that I was ever so gravely mentally ill.
5: Becoming an Ambassador for Change and Mental Health in the Oil & Gas Industry:
When you are going through so much, it is tough to envision yourself doing ambassadorial work to help others grow. When I began to work with Tony, being an ambassador for mental health in the Oil & Gas Industry wasn’t something I gave much thought to. Still, the more he helped me heal, grow, and change my personal and professional life, my heart calling was to share his incredible work, mission, and services so others could benefit.
Has it been easy? No, not at all; I’ve been met with ridicule, judgements, jibes, and even insults from the very people who suffer and asked for my help initially; some of it, in part, I came to see was nothing to do with me, it was through their jealousy of witnessing my transformation, but also, I’ve been supported. So many people have complimented me on my commitment to creating change, booked sessions with Tony, read his books, and invited him to educate, train, and inspire their audiences.
6: Why don’t I stop or give up?
Well, if you’d ever discovered something truly magical, special, and unique, and you know it’ll transform the lives of millions, billions of others, you most likely wouldn’t either, and that is what I’ve found in the work, methods, and transformative teachings of Tony J. Selimi. A most remarkable educator and transformational life coach who travels the world to help individuals and businesses create personal, relationship, professional, business, and financial breakthroughs.
I am humbled and grateful to be part of his vision to contribute to solving meaningful business and human-related problems, elevating human potential, and transforming the lives of one billion people.
