** This is my personal experience and reflection on parental leave as a new father. It’s important to acknowledge upfront that there are many factors that may not make this possible for all parents, and indeed to remember that not everyone is able to, nor wants to, have children. **
Dad Mode Engaged!
I had the absolute privilege of spending over six months on parental leave when my son was born which I hope has turned me into a nappy(diaper)- changing, lullaby-singing superhero! Here are my some of my new superpowers …
Super dad-strength:
Baby-curls aside, spending quality time with my little one, especially in the early formative months, has been a crash course in ‘Toddlerology’ and invaluable to creating and fostering the bond between us. I’ve been able to watch him grow and see his personality develop, which (for the most part) helps me decipher his cryptic baby bat-signals: Hungry? Thirsty? Tiny existential crisis? I got it. Plus, I hope I’m role-modelling a different parental set-up and challenging outdated stereotypes, which he can take with him into his own future.
Partner-in-crime:
For starters, sharing the childcare load means my wife can focus on her career in the same way that I do, including being able to travel for a few days safe in the knowledge that we’ll be fine (probably … hopefully… ok, we might need a videocall). It also means we can truly share our parenting experience, from the laughter to the tantrums (mostly his, sometimes ours) rather than me hearing it all from her second hand. All this means our teamwork is tighter than a toddler’s grip on a smartphone!
Super-hearing:
I’ve become more sympathetic and empathetic, not just to other working parents, but to everyone as they balance their careers with everything else that’s important to them. Pets? Sure. Travel? Why not. Circus training? As long as you don’t clown around at work (dad joke!). Having some time away from work was a good reminder that everyone has their own priorities which shift throughout their lives and accommodating them will only lead to a more engaged workforce.
Laser vision (focus):
I’ve become more efficient and productive in how I work. Knowing I can’t necessarily work late because the teddy bear picnic starts at seven means I have to be more focused and master my prioritisation. I also feel more empowered to be transparent with my managers and team on when I need to be on/offline and try to parent out loud as much as possible.
To all the employers and policy makers out there: with great power comes great responsibility.
I’ve been lucky enough to work in organisations that have progressive and generous family leave policies and have only seen/heard overwhelmingly positive business impact. So, if you’re in a position to implement this in your organisation, do it!
When I ran this by my partner, she told me I had some strawberry in my hair, and then gave me her thumbs up. I asked my son what he thought, and he said, “Capybaras love watermelon and I do too!”, which is just fine by me.
