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My menopause journey.

My name is Claire Parker and I am the Global Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Manager for JLR (Jaguar Land Rover) and I have been working within the DE&I space for over 8 years now. I am very passionate about creating a place where everyone feels that sense of belonging and everyone can be their true authentic selves to work.

Menopause is a topic that is very close to my own heart but is often seen as taboo or a topic that carries a stigma, but I would love to change that perception by sharing more on my own personal menopause journey.  I would also like to shed some light as to why this is a topic businesses need to be addressing.

I am married to my husband Michael for 26 years now and I have 2 beautiful boys aged 14 and 17 called Jack & Sean and they are super precious to me and it’s fair to say they also understand this topic very well as they have often been on the other end of some pf the symptoms.

 So when I was 41 I started to encounter some extremely challenging symptoms such as brain fog, memory loss, anxiety, severe mood swings with intense moments of anger sometimes resulting it outbursts of rage, often towards the ones I loved the most which was my husband and my kids. I had real trouble sleeping and was often only getting 4 hours of sleep a night and then having to go into work the next day and pretend that I felt great. My husband obviously noticed all of these changes and raised it with me suggesting that I seek medical support. Unfortunately I was very fearful of the response that I may get from the professionals, I was convinced I was either suffering with early stages of dementia or a brain tumour as these symptoms had become truly debilitating.

After a period of 8 months struggling to cope without seeking help I had a situation which brought everything to a head. I was presenting in a meeting to a number of very senior stakeholders and I completely forgot everything and really struggled to get the presentation back on track. I started to panic more which obviously didn’t help and then some of my colleagues asked me if I was OK. This in turn made me very emotional ending in me having to leave the meeting. I went home to my husband in an emotional wreck, convinced that my colleagues thought I was either drunk or just not up to the job. I discussed with my husband handing in my resignation as I clearly was not fit to work but after a long and hard discussion I agreed to make an appointment to see my GP.

After a number of different GP referrals where they wanted to put me on anti-depressions and see a counsellor or enlist in some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), I came across the Davina McCall’s TV programme on Peri-Menopause. I had never even heard of the term before and never thought it could be me as I was too young, surely Menopause was for older women not someone in their 40s!! After then realising this was me and all of the symptoms that were being described related to me I went away and researched the topic to absolute death.  I then downloaded the Balance App on my phone which was a way in which I could start to track my symptoms and take the information in a report back to my GP. Armed with everything that I needed to get the help I knew I needed I booked another appointment with my GP. This time I left with a plan which included starting on a course of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). I started taking them straight away and within 2 weeks I felt like a new women. Finally starting to get my life back and the kids getting their mummy back I could not have been happier. Week 3 hit and my life came crumbling down again and all of my symptoms had returned so I booked an appointment to go back to the Dr to try to understand what had happened. The GP decided to adjust my medication and explained that this is a very individual journey so it would be trial and error to get my medication stabilised. I have now been on this treatment plan for nearly 4 years, with some minor tweaks here & there but 80%-90% of my symptoms have gone. I have come to terms with the fact that not all of them will go and I can live with that. I now take some herbal supplements and vitamins that help, but things like my anxiety is something that I just manage myself with the support of my friends & family. I have had to change my life considerably to adapt to this change to include things like a sleeping routine, my diet, my exercise regime to include more strength training.

So the reason I am so passionate about this topic is I would hate for any other women to have to go through my own experience. It was such a scary time of my life and I didn’t feel there was enough support or even the right support out there for me both in the workplace but also in society in general. There was a point in my career where I did feel the only option for me was to give up work and look to do something less stressful, I lose my sense of self worth. If we can work on removing the taboo, educating the next generation so they are more equipped and also encouraging more people to be allies we will be in a much better position. It’s so important that businesses focus on this from a wellbeing standpoint but also from a DEI angle. We need to ensure we are doing all that we can to attract, develop and retain great female talent.

I made it a mission of mine to ensure that every opportunity I had I would help drive this agenda and provide my support in whatever way I possibly can.

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We do not provide professional help to individuals in urgent crisis. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 999 immediately. For support with suicidal thoughts, consider contacting the Samaritans UK, a trusted organisation specialising in confidential assistance during emotional distress. Your safety is paramount and there are professionals available to provide the urgent help required in such critical situations.
We do not provide professional help to individuals in urgent crisis. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 999 immediately. For support with suicidal thoughts, consider contacting the Samaritans UK, a trusted organisation specialising in confidential assistance during emotional distress. Your safety is paramount and there are professionals available to provide the urgent help required in such critical situations.