Masking is something many neurodivergent people know intimately — even if we don’t always have the language for it.
It’s the quiet editing of ourselves in real time. The smile when we’re overwhelmed. The silent calculation of whether it’s safe to stim, speak up, or ask for help. It’s what happens when we shape-shift to survive in spaces that weren’t designed with us in mind.
And for a long time, I didn’t even know I was doing it.
What is Masking — and Why Do We Do It?
For neurodivergent people — whether we’re Autistic, ADHD, Dyslexic, or otherwise — masking often begins early in life. We learn, sometimes subtly and sometimes explicitly, that the way we move, speak, interact, or process the world is “too much,” “too slow,” “too sensitive,” or “too different.”
So we adapt.
We force eye contact. We rehearse conversations. We hide sensory overwhelm. We mirror social cues. We stop asking for help and downplay how long tasks really take us. And by the time we enter the workplace, many of us have mastered a version of ourselves that can pass as “professional” — even when it comes at a cost.
That cost isn’t always visible. But it’s very real.
The Emotional Toll of Masking
Masking can be a protective strategy — but when it becomes constant and expected, it starts to wear us down. And in time it becomes harder to know where the mask ends and where we begin.
Over time, masking can lead to:
- Chronic stress and burnout
- Anxiety, shutdown, and disconnection
- Self-doubt and a fractured sense of identity
- Feeling unseen or misinterpreted, even while performing well
And here’s the part that often goes unspoken: intersectionality matters.
If you’re a neurodivergent person who is also Black, Brown, Indigenous, a woman, trans, queer, disabled — or live at the intersection of multiple identities — the pressure to mask can be even greater. You’re not only managing neurodivergent traits, but also navigating racism, sexism, ableism, or other structural biases in the workplace.
In those environments, masking may not even be a choice but feel more like a requirement for safety, survival, and belonging.
It’s not that we’re trying to be inauthentic — we’re trying to be allowed to exist.
Unmasking Is a Journey — Not a Requirement
There’s a growing conversation around “unmasking,” and while it’s powerful, it’s important to hold nuance.
Unmasking isn’t a goalpost or a performance of authenticity. It’s a deeply personal learning process. It means understanding what parts of ourselves we’ve hidden, and gently uncovering them — when we feel ready, and in spaces that feel safe enough.
It might look like:
- Setting boundaries and protecting your energy
- Speaking up — or choosing not to
- Asking for flexibility without overexplaining
- Wearing noise-cancelling headphones, using text-based communication, or pacing your workload
Unmasking, when it happens, is about self-trust and sovereignty — not forced vulnerability. It means learning to trust our intuition about when, where, and with whom we can be more of our full selves.
What Workplaces Can Do to Support
We can’t talk about unmasking without talking about safety — and that’s where workplace culture matters.
Too often, organisations focus on awareness campaigns without changing the structures that create pressure to mask in the first place.
What can workplaces do? Creating a neurodiversity-affirming environment means:
- Redefining what “professionalism” looks like
- Normalising multiple communication styles
- Offering quiet spaces and flexible work practices
- Building feedback and support systems that don’t rely on people disclosing before they’re ready
- Including neurodivergent people in co-creating policy and culture
Unmasking happens when people feel safe, when they have choice, and when their needs are respected without question.
A Final Word — To Those Who Are Masking
If you’re masking to get through the workday: I see you.
You’re not wrong for doing what you need to do to stay safe.
You’re not broken — you’re adapting to a system that wasn’t built with you in mind.
If you’re starting to unmask — take your time. Go gently. You get to decide when, where, and with whom. That choice is yours.
If you’re a colleague, leader, or changemaker — know that even small, intentional shifts in how we design, communicate, and connect can open the door for more of us to show up more fully.
The goal isn’t to unmask everyone. The goal is to build spaces where people don’t feel like they have to hide in the first place.
